This is a repost of guest blog I did back in March, and thought you would enjoy...
I admit that a major part of my start with running was because of my weight. I was desperate to lose weight, and heard running helped melt the pounds off quickly. Couple that with my yearning desire to earn a Mickey Mouse medal at the Disney Marathon, and that was it. I had decided to learn to be a runner.
I started running a little bit at a time, increasing it as I could. You may have thought that body image issues disappear after middle & high school, but for some of us, they linger on. Seeing thin women at the gym sprinting on the treadmills at times inspired me to do more, and other times made me depressed to think I’d never get there. Even though running and using weight watchers helped me lose about 30 pounds, I have yet to make it to my goal. Even then, my goal weight is 150. 150, which sounds like heaven to me, is the Athena category for racing, and nowhere near what most endurance athletes are.
Advertisements for clothing, and endurance gear features slim, fit women. As inspiring as it is to see these muscular, toned, bodies wearing the gear I lust over, I feel sometimes like I don’t belong in this sport. Trying on triathlon suits & wetsuits was an eye opener, as even the XL was tight enough to make me feel like an overstuffed sausage. Horribly unflattering, and destroying to my self-confidence. Looking at pictures from my first triathlon, I am ashamed at what my body looks like.
Yet, I love my body. Those large thighs are what power me up the steepest hills on the bike and trek through the end of a tough run when I just don’t want to go any further. Those curves allow me to look shapelier in my swimsuit. The thick arms help propel me through the water. I love my body but long for the discipline to fine-tune it to make myself more efficient. I’ve heard it estimated that you are about 2 seconds slower per pound of fat for each mile run. If that is the case, I could have ran yesterdays 10K , 7.23 minutes faster, since I have 35 pounds that I would love to lose.
I’ve tried hard to change my attitude on my body image since embracing a healthier lifestyle of running and multisports about 5 years ago. I try to see my goal as getting healthier, improving my body to improve performance, losing weight to feel better, rather than working to be thinner to fit a certain mold. It’s a hard attitude adjustment to make, but a necessary one in order to repair our relationship with our bodies. After all, “Your body is a gift and you’re fully responsible for its upkeep. Try to accept it for what it is, and reward it on a daily basis with proper food, exercise, and gratitude.”
What are your thoughts on body image and endurance sports?
Have you ever felt out of place in this endurance world?
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